Dreams change their tracks according to circumstances. It differs at times when there are seniors to guide you or when you are with your friends. I recall my teen years. I enjoyed going to school but a new cinema hall in my hometown always caught my attention. However, I seldom bunked my lessons despite the cinema’s influence on me. I frequented that cinema hall and enjoyed watching those Hindi and Nepali movies with my friends. On the way to the hall, my friends often hide their bags in the jungle, amidst the woods. They were stolen or wet because of rain when my friends looked for their bags later on. But, this was never the case with me. They used to get punished for it. I now miss the joy of it all. In hindsight, my dreams too have changed their tracks and have constantly redefined “success”. I started to believe that every moment grows on its own pace and that the dreams we think of along the way encourage us to achieve our own goals as Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”
I love to see the dreams of the little girls of Saipal being fulfilled during their stay here. When I see girls being brought to Saipal in grade five by their parents in hopes of a bright future, I myself am reminded of my childhood. I am reminded of my dreams. Sometimes, I see girls here with innocent and guilty smiles across their faces, when they are found making some petty mistakes like passing chicken soup or noodles powder during supper or while being extremely excited to go to Narayanthan expecting momos. While some other times, I see these girls crying by the phone booth with their parents on the other end of the phone, about how they couldn’t do well on a test. I am most confused when sometimes I overhear girls talking about some boys “who try to talk to them about something” and when suddenly, with their cheeks blushing, they change the topic of their discussion upon seeing a teacher or a senior nearby. I am surprised to see these young girls become so serious. Why is it that they’re afraid to do what they want to do wholeheartedly? It is human nature to do these kinds of things. No matter how wrong or unethical, it is still natural to want to do these things. I believe that your happiness cannot be paid by millions of rules or punishments as a Chinese proverb says “When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a bread with one, and a lily with the other.” I believe that you can manage to do both of these in your life.
As Carl Jung said, “There are many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other on the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” Every sadness or problem or suffering will bring you a colorful lily because as every coin has two sides, life too has happiness and sadness. Everybody has their own story to share, their own emotions to feel and their own happiness to internalize. Believe in yourself and try to achieve your goals. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and search and see the horizon of progress. As Buddha said,"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change”. This flower is in you. Believe in it.“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact”as Henry James said. Your anger, forgiveness, compassion, fear, love, attachment, everything exist but it is your turn to believe, trust and act to make it a fact and a habit
Written on 2015 March and Published in "Platinum, house magazine of Saipal House"
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